| “I never asked you to earn me. I want only that you should need me. Your path is not one of merit. Bring the recurring desires of your mind to me, every time they emerge. They cannot shock me, for I willed them! Bring me your confusion, your fear, your craving, your anxiety, your inability to love the world, your hesitation to serve, your jealousy, all the deficiencies that defy your spiritual disciplines.”
Call it a desperate attempt, call it a last stand, whatever, it doesn't matter to me. What does matter is this girl. That girl is Kelsey Carlisle. That girl means the world to me, more than that even. 10 months today, I wish so bad that I could say we were together for it, but we aren't, and it hurts. I screwed up, and I screwed up bad. And I probably deserve what I'm getting and then some, but I'm not willing to lose the best thing that's happened to me throughout my entire life. I wish you guys had half a clue of what she meant to me, and how perfect we were, or still could be. I hate how you never really know how important, how special, or how much much you love someone until they're gone. I'm doing everything in my power to get her back though, and I refuse to give up. How could I let someone like her walk out of my life? This is the girl I can see myself with in 10, 20, 30 years down the road. I'm not willing to give up on that.
Kelsey, I'll wait for you until the very end.. I love you.
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